Empowering Your Autistic and Special Needs Children to Thrive

Are your autistic and special needs children mere guests in your home, or do they actively participate in daily living activities? In this blog post, I will explore the importance of involving children with autism and special needs in daily care and household activities.

Often, our children are more capable than they appear to be. However, they need to have clear Expectations established so that they know their assumption of Responsibility is expected.

Embracing Involvement in Daily Life

Every child, regardless of their abilities or needs, can benefit from learning self-help skills and participating in household activities. Often, it's easy to underestimate the capabilities of children with autism and special needs. However, they can surprise us when given the opportunity and guidance to take on responsibilities.

Let's dive into a real-life example that illustrates this concept. One day, a concerned father entered my office, seeking help for his two children: a ten-year-old girl and a thirteen-year-old boy, both severely impacted by autism. He explained that his children were mostly nonverbal and had minimal skills. He was invited to bring the children to meet me the next day.

Often, our children are more capable than they appear to be. However, they need to have clear Expectations established so that they know their assumption of Responsibility is expected.

A Turning Point

The introduction took place in an office, where the children were accompanied by both of their parents. The parents had brought along DVDs, DVD players, and snacks to keep their children occupied during the appointment. While the parents explained their children's conditions, they managed the children's needs efficiently, setting up the DVDs and snacks.

After the brief meeting, I agreed to see each children for testing. The parents swiftly packed away the DVDs and snacks, maintaining a sense of order and routine. They left the office with the children, the parents carrying bags and holding the door open for their children.

On the following day, when the mother arrived alone with the children for testing, she struggled to manage the two children and all of their paraphernalia. It was apparent that this arrangement was challenging for her.

Establishing Clear Expectations and Responsibilities

Recognizing the need for a change, I suggested a simple yet transformative solution: backpacks for the children. Each child would have his/her backpack filled with his/her needed materials, and would be encouraged to carry the backpack independently.

On the second day of testing, the children participated in multiple hours of assessments, occasionally switching between testing and waiting in the lounge. The room was soon scattered with DVDs, DVD players, and food containers.

Empowering Independence

When it was time to leave, I offered the parents some guidance. They were asked to stand near the door, announce that it was time to leave, and then remain silent: a challenge in itself. After waiting for 45 seconds, neither child had put down the DVD player.

Next, I instructed the father to say, "Hannah, Anthony, I am going to the car." The daughter looked up. I stopped the parents from moving toward the children or saying anything else. The daughter responded by promptly putting her DVD player and power cable into her backpack, gathering two food containers, partially zipping her bag, and making her way to the door.

The father began to tell his son what to do and I stopped him. I had the father state: "We are ready to leave. Hannah put her things in her backpack," and then we all waited 20 seconds. Anthony, the son, soon followed suit. He put his DVD player in his backpack, placed a food container inside, partially closed the backpack, put it on, and carried the power cable to his DVD player separately. He joined the family at the door.

The mother stood upright, no longer weighed down by bags, and the father wore a look of disbelief that perfectly captured the moment.

By actively involving our children in daily activities and establishing clear Expectations and Responsibilities, we can empower them to thrive and reach their full potential.

The Power of Expectations and Responsibilities

This experience was a turning point for the family. They recognized the importance of involving their children in daily activities and setting clear expectations and responsibilities. With their commitment to my approach, one that focused on participation in life through establishing expectations and responsibilities, the children made significant progress.